Doug O'Brien's Blog
This is my official blog where I share my news, opinions and insights into spoken word therapy, business intervention and coachings. From NLP, Sleight of Mouth, Hypnosis and many other disciplins. Check in with my blog regularly to keep up to date with what I am doing and to be the first to find out about exciting courses I will be running
Thursday 28th February 2013
"Who you are being is so loud I can't hear what you are saying."
- Marc Anthony Yhap to Dr.Graham Dorrington in "The White Diamond"
Some of the more popular NLP classes I teach are classes on persuasion. The "Sleight of Mouth" class, "Belief Craft" with Jonathan Altfeld, "The Language of Change" (Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns), and the new "Heart-Centered Sales System" all deal with persuasion.
That's fine. It's a useful study because everything requires persuasion... sales, doing therapy, relationships, pretty much every activity that involves humans interacting will require some form of persuasion. And it is useful to remind ourselves that persuasion techniques alone don't make somebody persuasive. Sales techniques take a back seat to being able to relate meaningfully to another human being and being able to establish a deep rapport between you both.
Intention has a Scent
Add a comment | Posted by Doug O'Brien at 04:17
Wednesday 9th May 2012
How Many Sessions Will This Take?
Add a comment | Posted by Doug O'Brien at 16:20
Wednesday 2nd May 2012
Neo-Ericksonian Approaches to change work
Often, when I get enquiries about a specific complaint like blushing or tinnitus (ringing in the ear), people want to know exactly what I'm going to do for them. I can appreciate their wanting to know but, ironically, the best answer to that question is probably not the answer they are looking for.
They want definite, distinct treatment steps, like they might expect from a medical approach. But, in reality, the best answer to that question for an NLP Practitioner of Hypnotherapist is "I don't know." Because part of the power of NLP and Neo-Ericksonian Hypnosis is that it is tailored specifically for the individual. No two people are alike, so no two treatments should be alike either. You can't really know what we're going to do with a particular client until we meet that client.
As an example from the case studies of Milton Erickson, he worked with three different children who all had the same problem - bed-wetting. Instead of dusting off the "How to Treat Bedwetting" hypnosis script, Erickson treated each person uniquely. It is interesting to note that in all of the cases below no hypnosis, (as we normally think of it), was used. It was, however, because of Erickson's deep understanding of how the mind works, vis-a-vis trance, that he was able to produce these successful results.
Here are summaries of the three different cases.
Case #1: A twelve year old boy was brought to Erickson for bedwetting. Ericksondismissed his parents, so he was just there with the kid, and immediately began talking to the boy about other topics, avoiding a discussion of bedwetting altogether. Upon learningthat the boy played baseball and his brother played football, Erickson began to describe the fine muscle coordination it takes to play baseball compared to gross, uncoordinatedmuscle skills used in football. The boy listened raptly as Erickson described in some detail all the fine muscle adjustments his body made automatically in order to position hisself underneath the ball and to catch it.
The glove has to be opened up at just the right moment and clamped down again at justthe right moment. When transferring the ball to the other hand, the same kind of finemuscle control is needed. Then, when throwing the ball to the infield, if one lets go too soon, it doesn’t go where one wants it to go, likewise, letting go too late leads to frustration. Letting go at just the right time, gets it to go where you want it go and that constitutes success, in baseball.
Case #2: In this next case, a twelve year old boy was in an intense struggle with his mother over continued wetting of the bed. Erickson gave the mother an assignment of waking herself up at 4 or 5 in the morning to check whether her son’s bed was wet or dry. If it was dry, she was to just let him sleep and go back to bed without waking him. If was wet, she was to get the boy up and have him practice his handwriting, which was very poor, until 7 am. Not only was the symptom resolved but the boy’s relationship with his father and his grades at school improved.
Case #3: An eleven year old girl that has been cytoscoped so many times for her urinary tract problems that she has lost her ability to control her bladder sphincter. She wouldwet her pants if she ran or laughed during the day and she wet the bed at night. Her sisters, the neighbor kids and kids at school had discovered her weakness and took delight in making her wet her pants. Aren’t kids wonderful? She was miserable about the situation. Erickson told her that she already knew had to have dry beds and dry pants. She told him that he was wrong. He told her that she already knew but that she did not know that she knew. Well, she was perplexed by that. He asked her in a rather dramatic fashion what she would do if she were sitting on the toilet urinating and a strange man poked his head into the bathroom. She replied that she would freeze. Erickson agreed and told her that this was what she knew that she didn’t know that she knew. All she had to do, he said, was to use this ability and to practice starting and stopping when she was urinating. She developed her muscle rapidly and was having dry beds and pants within a short time.
Good thing these patients didn't demand to know what Milton was going to do before they came in. They might never have made it.
Add a comment | Posted by Doug O'Brien at 17:47
Monday 14th November 2011
Dr. Milton Erickson, MD, the great hypnotist and psychiatrist, once said, "every human being is as unique as their own thumbprint."
So, when people ask me what to expect from an NLP or Hypnosis session, I tell them the unvarnished truth - even though it is often not what they really want to hear.
What they want to hear is something like this, "This problem will be eliminated after the completion of our 5 step process." Or maybe, "Oh, it'll take one session of 30 minutes and then all your troubles will be permanently eliminated." Or "It's very simple, I put you into a trance and, although you won't remember a thing, when you wake up your challenges will be gone forever."
I sincerely do wish it were that easy, but unvarnished truth is that there literally is no way of knowing for certain.
Sometimes a client's issues CAN be rectified in one session but sometimes more sessions are required. Sometimes it takes two or three, or even more sessions to get thing the way we want them to be. Every case is unique. The fact of the matter is, that as apt a metaphor as it is that our minds are like computers, we are not computers and our patterns of behavior and ways of thinking cannot be simply reprogrammed.
So, since, as Milton Erickson observed, we are, all of us, unique, it is only right that results of a hypnosis or NLP session will vary between clients.
And HOW that session is conducted will vary between clients.
That is, in fact, a good thing.
One of the reasons NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis are so powerful is BECAUSE we can recognize and appreciate the differences between people and how to interface with those differences that we can claim such great results.
Think of it this way. Let's go back to the metaphor that the brain is like a computer.
Say your computer acts up and you take it into the fix-it shop. If the technician thinks, "all computers are the same" and starts taking your apart and treating your 1998 Macintosh as if it were a 2010 HP PC, you'd be in trouble.
You want a technician who can properly diagnose that problem and figure out the best way of proceeding for your PARTICULAR circumstance.
It is the same with NLP and Hypnosis. You want a practitioner with the training and experience to notice and utilize who you are in all your uniqueness to help you get where you want to go. It make be an instant change, it may take a while, but 9 times out of 10, if it can be changed, a good NLP Practitioner or Ericksonian Hypnotherapist can help make it so.
Add a comment | Posted by Doug O'Brien at 19:49
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